Have you ever felt like you’ve been beaten over the head with the same lesson over and over again? Whether it’s academic, life, or spiritual I’m sure we’ve all been there. By the third time you’re like “Okay, okay I get it already!” Well, that’s definitely been me lately.
For several months, God had been convicting me of how I compared myself to other women. Comparing skills, talents, personality traits, inner qualities, roles as a wife and mom, etc. etc. If you’re a woman, you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. We’ve all been there. Wishing you were more like Sue and thankful you weren’t like Jane (when in reality you probably were more like her than you thought). For some reason (aka SIN) it’s in our nature to compare ourselves. I knew it was an issue for me so I began to pray for God to help me overcome that obstacle. However, although I was praying I continued to struggle and wasn’t really seeing my heart change. Then within a matter of weeks the brow beating began…
First, God spoke it through a Bible study of Moses. God gave the Israelites commandments and laws to follow so that they could be set apart from other nations. He was calling them to be righteous and holy because He, the Lord their God, was righteous and holy. They were to live by His standards, not their own and not in comparison to other nations.
Next, God reiterated it through a Bible study on the book of Esther. Beth Moore said, “It’s tough being a woman in another woman’s shadow.” How true that is. Whether it’s an admirable woman or an evil woman. Whether you placed yourself there voluntarily or were forced into that position. It’s always tough being a woman in another woman’s shadow. She also went on to say that “One of our biggest problems in being a woman is other women.” AMEN AMEN! Don’t misunderstand me, I believe with all my heart that women need other women, but we must not use each other as a measuring stick.
Finally, God nailed it in again at marriage retreat. God has “fearfully and wonderfully made” each of us (Psalm 139:14). Rejoice and be thankful for how He’s made you. Find a godly woman to look up to as a mentor, but never compare or measure yourself to her for none of us are perfect. Compare yourself to God’s standards alone.
Whether it’s in a positive or negative light, trying to measure ourselves against other women goes against God’s teaching. So how do we rewire our minds and set our hearts on pursuing God’s standards and His righteousness? First of all, be intentional and determined to set your mind toward only comparing yourself against God’s word. As soon as that comparative spirit starts creeping up, immediately go the Lord in prayer. Pray not only for your own heart, but also pray for the one you’re measuring yourself against. Then meditate on these scriptures. Write them down, memorize them, pray them. Allow God to transform and refine your heart and mind through them.
- Ephesians 5:1 “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.”
- 1 Peter 3:3-4 “Your adornment must not be merely external-braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”
- Colossians 2:10 “and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority.”
- Psalm 90:17 “Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us and confirm for us the work of our hands; yes, confirm the work of our hands.”
So in closing, surround yourself with those godly women both young and old, friends and family, who will sharpen you just as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17) and may you each be a reflection of the character and righteousness of God Almighty.